I’ve so decided that we should have an adult Easter hunt each year. Yah I know this is a day to rejoice in the rising of Christ. So, what better way to do that than to have an EASTER BEER HUNT, get sloppy drunk, and pass out. This would be great at all family Easter dinners. The night before Easter everyone should gather around to decorate their favorite beer can. Then stuff them in the basket or 12 pack holders. While you are sleeping the Easter Bunny will come in and hide all of your Beer around the house and outside. If you are lucky there was an extra bonus put in your beer. Like cigarette butts.
Just Imagine Easter Morning………………..
You rise out of bed slightly hung over from the night before, but confident that you didn’t make an ass out of yourself.
You go straight to the fridge to look for a beer. To your dismay they are gone.
Perplexed by this discovery you reach for the coffee instead.
Low and Behold there is a beer behind the Coffee maker.
You put the coffee back. Open the beer and slam it. Wow that was refreshing.
As you walk towards the back door to smoke a cigarette you discover a shinning object behind the plant.
It’s a beer. You open it and slam it.
Now feeling slightly buzzed and brimming with joy and happiness with your finds you step outside for a cigarette.
As you light up you notice the dog kicking a shiny object in the yard.
You walk further to investigate. It’s a beer. You open it, give the dog a drink, and then slam it.
At this time you decide you better return the Easter Festivities before the others discover that you are missing.
You reach for the remote controller to turn the boob tube on and discover another beer hidden by the TV.
You get up, grab the beer, and slam it.
At this point, you are starting become very intoxicated. You stumble over to your spouse who is talking to her/his parents. You start to get frisky with the spouse.
The parents become outraged and immediately leave.
As you shut the door behind them you find another beer. You open it and slam it.
After passing out on the couch you wake up to discover that your spouse and kids have gone off to Easter Dinner and Church without you.
You get up to use the urinal and you discover a beer behind the toilet. You open it and slam it.
EASTER RULES!!! J
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7 comments:
YES! Thank goodness I don't have to worry about the spouse thang... I have an idea though. Instead of the Easter Bunny hiding the beer, we could just get totally waisted the night before and hide them ourselves! We won't remember where we put them in the morning.
The only hole in that thought though is that you might accidentally drink the beer meant to be hidden.
I'd be willing to give the effort if you are.
what'dya say?
BTW, how was THE MEXICANS last night?.. How was LITTLE FEMALE JIM?
Does everyone love your CUTE NEW BEAU?
That is happening tonight, but I am sure they will all love my CUTE NEW BEAU. He is cute, funny, he is an airplane mechanic working on getting his pilot’s license and most important he likes to drink. Why wouldn’t they love him??
And yes I would definitly be willing to give it a try. I don't think we will have beer left over for Easter though. So, it really might be a better idea to let the only one sober among us, The Easter Bunny, hide the beer.
oH YEAH. I forgot. I was confused with all the talk yesterday about MEXICANS and LITTLE FEMALE JIMS....Has L.F.J. said anything to you about meeting C.N.B.? Is he looking forward to it? If he's anything like MINI ME & THE DARK ONE, he won't really even care..He'll just roll his eyes and mutter under his breath something about, "seeing another guy,and getting drunk again" or something of the sort.
BTW, I say we just let the kids hide the beer. They will be nice and devious, it'll end up taking us all day to get drunk...
I also challenge you to a game of BEER PONG!
L.F.J. doesn’t much care. But when I told him that I saw C.N.B. work and the airplanes he was working on that actually sparked an interest. And then when I told him that both his brother and his father own their own planes and that C.N.B. is getting his pilot’s license and he will be able to take us flying soon, that really sparked in interest.
I don’t know…The kids are getting to the age that they will hide it so we can’t find it and they can drink it with their friends later. Your going to have to let CHOWDER HEAD in on the BEER PONG because I’m sure she needs to bulldozer out her garage in order for us to squeeze in there to play. But that does sound like fun. We will have school C.N.B. on BEER PONG.
Good. I'm sure he's a shoe-in then..
I believe she has already gotten the super sucker vacuum out and cleaned it up. AND, It will be no problem to school C.N.B. Shit, he's already been exposed to CHOWDER HEAD and her drunkiness.. I think he'll be o.k.
We shall see. I’m a bit nervous. But I think it will be okay and it’s the right environment to introduce them. Besides we shall see if he can really survive CHOWDER HEAD. The last time he only hung our for an hour.
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