I was having a nice casual 4th of July. The sun is shining. It’s about 70 degrees. We are sitting at CUTE BOYFRIEND’s Parents house. They have a house on a lake. The kids are taking the paddle boat out and swimming. CUTE BOYFRIEND and I are drinking beer and cooking burgers on the BBQ. Well one beer leads to another and so on.
We were invited to SOGS’s CUTE BOYFRIEND’s house to watch fireworks. We arrive about 3 hours early for the event. CUTE BOYFRIEND runs to the store to buy vodka to make cosmos. Which are very delicious and go down way to easy.
The fireworks finally go off. I have no idea how much longer we stayed or how many cosmos I consumed. Because all of a sudden I went from sober to drunk. “What Happened?” Of course I don’t realize this until I wake up this morning to go to work and my head feels like it’s going to explode and there is the gut wrenching pain in my belly.
Now, we all know that I would never overindulge in activities that involve alcohol. I am much too sophisticated to participate in events involving being drunk. So, I know that somebody forced me to participate by putting a gun to my head and pouring alcohol down my throat through a funnel (otherwise known as a straw).
I am starting a bounty for anyone that can bring this varmint in alive. We must teach people like this a lesson in drinking ethics. Everyone must rally together to give this unforsaken monster a moral lesson in debauchery.
WANTED ALIVE BUT SERVERLY BEATEN
FOR THE VARMINT THAT FORCED FEMALEJIM
TO DRINK IN EXCESS AND CAUSING A TRAIN WRECK IN
HER HEAD THE MORNING AFTER
REWARD: 1 CASE OF BEER
We were invited to SOGS’s CUTE BOYFRIEND’s house to watch fireworks. We arrive about 3 hours early for the event. CUTE BOYFRIEND runs to the store to buy vodka to make cosmos. Which are very delicious and go down way to easy.
The fireworks finally go off. I have no idea how much longer we stayed or how many cosmos I consumed. Because all of a sudden I went from sober to drunk. “What Happened?” Of course I don’t realize this until I wake up this morning to go to work and my head feels like it’s going to explode and there is the gut wrenching pain in my belly.
Now, we all know that I would never overindulge in activities that involve alcohol. I am much too sophisticated to participate in events involving being drunk. So, I know that somebody forced me to participate by putting a gun to my head and pouring alcohol down my throat through a funnel (otherwise known as a straw).
I am starting a bounty for anyone that can bring this varmint in alive. We must teach people like this a lesson in drinking ethics. Everyone must rally together to give this unforsaken monster a moral lesson in debauchery.
WANTED ALIVE BUT SERVERLY BEATEN
FOR THE VARMINT THAT FORCED FEMALEJIM
TO DRINK IN EXCESS AND CAUSING A TRAIN WRECK IN
HER HEAD THE MORNING AFTER
REWARD: 1 CASE OF BEER
6 comments:
I think we can blame it all on CHOWDER HEAD. She is after all the one that came over TOTALLY hammered and started bawling.. That's enough for anyone to throw down a few too many cocktails. Don't you think?
I'll take that case of beer now.
That's a good point. However you need to bring her in severly beaten but still alive.
Yah what the hell?? Who shows up at a party waisted and bawling when everyone is trying to have a good time.
Oh and Thank goodness I was too hung over to drink anything last night and that CUTE BOYFRIEND had to work until 2 in the morning so, I wouldn’t be tempted to drink. I feel normal again today. I’m not sure how long it will last though. You never know when that varmint will get loose again to stick a gun to my head and make me drink excessively. So, I better enjoy it now.
Yeah you better enjoy it. CHOWDER HEAD is trying to get me to go out with her and IPIE tonight. If I go, you HAVE to go too!
Hmmmm. Well I have to work tonight and I am completely broke with Sean’s birthday being tomorrow and all. I don’t know if CUTE BOYFRIEND has the funds to support me either.
How is CHOWDER HEAD proposing to escape her PSYCHO MOTHER’s clutches.
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