I managed not to kill anyone, but that wasn’t from a lack of trying. Unfortunately I don’t have any real weapons at work. I tried to use my old rusty dull scissors by throwing that at an unsuspecting person walking next to my cubicle. But I miscalculated the throw due to the weight of scissors and it just hit the wall on the opposite side of my cubicle. It did however make a huge thump. So, I quickly pretended that I fell down. A few people came over to help me. I tried stabbing those people with the pen that I had in my hand but I only proceeded to tattoo them with blue ink.
After I didn’t succeed with those attempts I proceeded to the break room. I took the butter out of the fridge and greased up the seat on a couple chairs. Although a few people slide off the chairs it didn’t really cause the damage that I was looking for.
Off to the bathroom. Okay this one is tricky considering we have a public bathroom. And I had to think really hard. I just decided to saran wrap a couple toilets. Only one girl fell for it. She came out of the bathroom sobbing and was quickly sent home with pay. Now the saran wrap has been taken out of the kitchen and all the women are being watched closely.
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3 comments:
Let me ask...WHY are you trying to kill people? Is it because they came in at a level 2 or more and you cannot participate in such events any longer? Were your jeans a bit too snug today? Have you started growing strange hair above your navel? Your nipples are getting larger? Please explain so I can help.
Because the evil pregnancy hormones are telling me to kill them.
Then you should listen to them. Kill them.
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