Well you learn something new everyday even about CUTE FIANCE. Saturday night we all gathered at CHOWDER HEAD’s house for some social recreation. When CUTE FIANCE and I arrived everyone was huddled in the garage for a BEER PONG tournament.
After making drinks for ourselves, CUTE FIANCE and I join the others and I immediately jumped into the game. After only 10 minutes of play time I made it into a cup causing an opponent to chug his beer. I hand my paddle over to CUTE FIANCE who immediately spills his drink all over the table. The rules clearly state that if you spill you must chug the fullest glass on the table. CUTE FIANCE disappears upstairs while I am finishing out the BEER PONG tournament.
Afterwards, I find him talking with CHOWDER HEAD on the balcony. But something is different. CUTE FIANCE went from sober to drunk. It was the fastest that I have ever seen anyone do that. I think he may have set a new record. CUTE FIANCE becomes STUMBLY when he gets drunk. He sways left to right when walking and quite often has to grab onto the walls for support. Well this night was no different. We shall now rename CUTE FIANCE “STUMBLY” for the rest of this blog.
STUMBLY is heading towards the house from the Balcony. SLAAAMM…goes the sliding glass door. Sway…sway…stumble…recover from almost falling down…plop down in big chair in living room. CHOWDER HEAD, “You want to play a game.” We all head over to the table to play ten thousand. STUMBLY finds his way over to the table, plops down, and slumps over the table. Now very obvious to everyone that STUMBLY is drunk. STUMBLY interrupts the game by getting up to smoke. SLAAAMMM….goes the sliding glass door. Okay, Now I am thinking it maybe time to call a cab and head home. SLAAAAMMMMM….goes the sliding glass door and in sways STUMBLY. Grab onto the wall to the right. Grab on to the back of the chair on the left. Repeat until reaching his own chair and then PLOP.
ME: “Hey STUMBLY, are you ready for me to call a cab home.”
STUMBLY: “Umm Sure.”
15 minutes later the cab arrives. Help STUMBLY down the stairs, out the door, and into the cab. The cab right is literally 5-10 minutes away. The cost was $6.75. So, you know its close. STUMBLY passes out in the cab. Make it home in less than 10 minutes. “STUMBLY we are home. Wake up STUMBLY. It’s time to pass out in bed.” STUMBLY pulls himself out of the cab. The cabbie looks at me and smiles as I hand him the fare. Sway…Sway goes STUMBLY.
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6 comments:
I can't believe I missed that part. I always leave too early, Damn it!
Oh yah. It was good times. CHOWDER HEAD’s Hubby kept saying, “That boys drunk.” After he said that the 5th time is when I decided to call the cab. Oh and then you missed the part when STUMBLY started to get belligerent with me. I had to immediately change the subject so he would calm down. Luckily I was able to do that before anyone else caught on.
Belligerent huh? Over what?
Well he had told CHOWDER HEAD that I was upset with him. I told him that I would prefer him not to tell CHOWDER HEAD things like that. Mr. STUMBLY turned to me, denied bringing it up to CHOWDER HEAD and then accused me of doing that. When I started to defend myself he jumped out of his seat, put his finger up, and said, “FEMALEJIM are you saying that I told CHOWDER HEAD that?”
I quickly realized that he was way too drunk to reason with and I just told him what he wanted to hear. That only lasted until he woke up sober the next day.
You've got to love drunks that like to argue. ha ha ha From what is sounds like he probably doesn't remember too much any way.
BTW, I was talking to BIG K and she told me her MUCH OLDER B.f. was argueing about the quality of breakfast meats.... Needless to say, it escalated into a fight with him getting totally waisted and puking in her bathroom sink. (Leaving it for her to clean up cause he was so drunk)
The lesson of the story is: stay away from discussions involving breakfast meat.
It just made me pause and think how greatful I am to have such a great CUTE B.F.
That is the first time STUMBLY has gotten that way with me. And as soon as I agreed with him he stepped down. And there wasn’t any puking involved. Normally STUMBLY just gets STUMBLY. He may fall down on occasion, but that just makes me laugh. I apparently was screwing up his buzz.
The lesson I learned was wait until STUMBLY sobers up to be a buzz kill.
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