BODILY FLUIDS..........

BODILY FLUIDS..........

Well I have a had a wonderful few days. My life has been filled with Puke and Poop. Good times...Good Times....
Saturday I hang out with THE MEXICAN for her b-day. We have drinks at a friends house. After we leave CRANGIE talks THE MEXICAN into taking LITTLE F.JIM THE 2ND while we go the LOCAL WATERING HOLE. Well after we get home LITTLE F.JIM THE 1ST calls me into his room. He had puked all over himself and his futon. It looked like he ate everything on the McDonald's menu right before up chucking. Oh Joy. I try to clean the futon the best I can, but there is no saving it.
In the interim LITTLE F.JIM the 2nd had her well baby check and shots. She has had diarrhea since then. Blowing out her diaper on a continuous basis. So, I go home last night thinking I am so done with bodily fluids. LITTLE F.JIM THE 1ST is feeling better. So, we should have a good night. Well I wasn't that lucky. My Dog up chucks three huge piles on my carpet. (Thank god we are putting in laminate flooring this weekend.) All I can think about is cleaning up the futon as I am now cleaning up the dogs mess. URGH. YUCK. Where the hell is CUTE FIANCÉ when you need a clean up on isle 'House from Pukesville'? Okay I get that cleaned up and the night goes smoothly after that.
LITTLE F.JIM THE 2ND wakes up all smiles this morning. I change her ditty and then it happens. Yes she poops on me. It's one of those can hit anything within a mile radius squirting poops. Oh Joy. I was thankful to still be in my robe and not dressed for the day.
I think I am going to avoid going home for about a week. Just until POOPIE AND PUKIE get their bodily fluids under control.