BAR BRAWL...........

Why do people decide to get belligerent at bars after consuming mass amounts of alcohol??
CUTE BOYFRIEND, SOGS, COOL NEW FRIEND, and I decide to head over to the local bar across the street from my house. Of course, we make the decision to only have one pitcher of beer. As we exit the vehicle and start to enter the bar C.N.F. immediately starts talking to some guy. He proceeds to follow us in and takes a seat next to us at the bar. We decide that we are a bit cramped in the corner at the bar and decide to move to a table.
We sit down with our pitcher of beer. C.B.F. finds somebody to play pool with. SOGS and I decide to play a game of shuffle board. All seems well until C.N.F. somehow invites a LATINO from East L.A. and a REDNECK to sit next to her. SOGS and I are deep into our Shuffle board game. It’s neck to neck when all of a sudden……SQUAWK….SQUAWK….SQUAWK..

C.N.F.: “Well I can tell a bull shitter when I see a bull shitter.”
REDNECK: “You don’t know what you are talking about woman.”
C.N.F.: “Well you lied to me and I caught you in your lie. So, what is it? Have you known this guy (LATINO) for 10 years or did you just meet him like you said? And you LATINO, are you really married or what? You guys are just liars and bull shitters.”

As the conversation moves forward the decibels of the voice pitches keep getting louder and louder. The squawking is becoming almost deafening. This goes on for about 30 minutes before SOGS and I can’t take it anymore because it’s messing up our game. We finally put what we think is an end to the event. However C.N.F. isn’t about to let it drop.

After our 2nd pitcher of beer, SOGS and I settle back into our game of shuffle board since everything is starting to flow normally again. CUTE BOYFRIEND plays another game of pool with the REDNECK. The pool table is real close to where COOL NEW FREIND is sitting. So she starts egging on the REDNECK. By this time the LATINO has wised up and is staying away from C.N.F. I pop in just in time to hear:

REDNECK: “Women are supposed to serve men.”
SOGS, C.N.F., and my head all spun around and our eyes turned fiery red. That boy didn’t have a chance. I can’t remember what any of us girls said but I do remember REDNECK trying to quote the bible while holding a beer in his hand. At one point he did say something derogatory to us and my CUTE BOYFRIEND stepped in and told him that I was his woman and he can’t talk to me like that. Ahhh….My night and shinning armor. (Although, I totally could have taken this REDNECK on my own. After all, I think he was only 5 feet tall, and this is after we have started on our 3rd pitcher of beer.)

Well the night is winding down and we are walking out of the bar. COOL NEW FRIEND gets stopped at the bar. REDNECK is apologizing for calling her a fat bitch. C.N.F. is squawking away. Then REDNECK says, “I can only apologize for myself. I can’t apologize for the LATINO.” C.N.F. ends the evening by saying, “Well that’s because you don’t want to get your throat slit (by LATINO).” Nothing but boo’s at the bar after that comment.

Hmmmm. CUTE BOYFRIEND and I are regulars at this bar. I’m not sure how this is going to reflect on our standings. I mean after all its taken years to work up to getting a strong drink in that place. I don’t want to have to start over again now.